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will all be inspired by my own relationship, as an individual, with the key aspects of life. They will include a number of things I consider important on a very abstract level. (I'm pretty much an abstract person myself). There will be seven fractals in total in this saga, this one being the sixth.The Protector
represents my relationship with feelings
. Once again, it presents itself as a natural follow-up of the previous piece in the series, representing my relationship with others on a more general level. The one I have with feelings is the most conflictual one in absolute: I'm not a very emotional person in general, and that makes it really hard for me to detect, recognise, and acknowledge any kind of feeling, especially when it comes down to romantic feelings. A part of me defaults to rejection, meaning that I never trust them right from the start; on the contrary, I typically try to keep said feelings lukewarm for the good of everyone, especially my own, thinking that too many fears and difficulties factor into the course of events for me to think it's worth it.
On a much less often basis, I will actually try and overcome my fear. It only happens if I know that my feelings are growing stronger day by day. I may go as far as telling the person that I like them. It generally doesn't end well - at least, it hasn't in the past, more often that it has. I still remain hopeful of one day overcoming these emotional issues in full and be capable of nurturing a healthy, committed, long-term sort of relationship with another person, should I ever find someone I actually want to share that much with. Until that day, my reflexes and subconscious contribute to protect
my heart's softer side, providing me a shield from illusion/delusion and preserving the microcosm I willingly keep out of reach for most people, only being willing to share it with that hypothetical someone.
Other works from this series: